People come in and out of our lives but not everyone deserves the title of friend. You’ve heard the saying, “Some people are in your life for a reason or a season.” Never has a statement been so true and anyone who fails to take heed to the lesson behind those words can end up with or probably already has toxic friends.
What is a toxic friend? It’s sort of an oxymoron because a friend wouldn’t normally be called toxic. It seems that anything considered toxic can’t be good. Toxic waste dumps, toxic bins to store previously used needles, and now toxic friends. In essence, a toxic friend is someone that can and will cause harm in your life. Thinking someone is a genuine friend when they are really toxic is almost as detrimental.
Let’s take a look at some toxic situations among so-called friends:
Toxic Situation 1
After a couple of bad experiences, Amy reluctantly decided to attend a party with her friend Bethany. Amy expressed to Bethany beforehand that they should stay together and watch each other’s back. Bethany reassures Amy that everything will be okay. As soon as the two enter the party, Bethany disappears with a guy into a dark corner. Later Amy sees Bethany taking shots of liquor with a group of strangers and tries to get her to leave. She claims that she is okay and that they would leave soon. Amy keeps a close eye on Bethany but is distracted by a fight. When Amy is clear from danger she searches frantically to find a non-existent Bethany. Amy resorts to sitting in her car hoping that Bethany would soon appear. After a few hours, Amy sees a couple of guys carrying out an apparently drunk girl. When Amy realizes that the girl is Bethany she rescues her from the guys in fear of what they had in mind. The next weekend, Amy receives a phone call from Bethany who wants to go to another party. What should Amy do?
Toxic Situation 2
Derek has been involved with his new girlfriend for about three months. His friend Jason is known to be a bit of a ladies man and has a reputation. Derek doesn’t pay attention to the rumors that he has heard about his friend Jason. On one occasion, Derek needed Jason to pick his girlfriend up from the airport. Jason was happy to help and put on his best outfit, his favorite cologne and headed to the airport. When Jason arrived, Derek’s girlfriend April noticed how strangely Jason was acting. Jason used every possible opportunity to stand a little too close to April or flash his winning smile. Everything Jason did made April extremely uncomfortable. When April was home, she called Derek to explain the situation but he refused to believe that his friend of 8 years would try to flirt with his girlfriend. Who should Derek believe?
Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint a toxic friend and it’s even harder to end this type of friendship. Therefore, in choosing friends consider what Jesus said in John 15: 12: “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” So you should love your friends as Christ has loved you and your friends should do the same. In any situation if a so-called friend does not have your best interest at heart they are a toxic friend. If you continue to deal with that person they will soon get you into a situation that can be dangerous to your life.
Keep your eyes open and your hand in God’s hand to recognize warning signs of toxic friendships. I Corinthians 10: 13 reminds us that “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way of escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” In other words, God always gives us a way out especially in toxic friendships. When people come into your life use your best judgment, choose wisely!
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